The last time I took an extended break from Brighton and University was back in December 2007 and if I’m completely honest, it wasn’t because I wanted to see family or friends, but because London had something Brighton didn’t for me; a bloody job. And if it wasn’t in a games store that would satisfy my geeky fetish for Super Mario, I probably wouldn’t have came back. London’s always been a ‘problem’ for me because it represented a life I wanted to leave behind with all the same people, leading the same lives and doing the same things.

I remember coming back for just ONE WEEK last Summer because in Brighton, I had nowhere to live, no money, no friends… I pretty much had nothing going for me. After a week here, I realised that I came back to that life I wanted to escape from, that poisoned me and was trying to take away everything I had strived to become. I didn’t fit in, nobody understood me, WAAA WAAAA WAAAAA! London sucked! I had been there for 19 years and it still offered me the same bullshit I had grown to hate for almost two decades! Why the hell would I stick about for? I packed my bags and went back to Brighton where even though I had nothing to go back to, I believed there was potential to build something there. I’m so happy I did it, because I earnt some of my most fond memories and experiences there.

So why am I back in London? Other than having my family put a gun to my head and march me back?

Over the last year, I’ve had some of the worst experiences of my entire life – which isn’t surprising considering the initial 18 years was spent in my room playing Playstation all day – and I’ve been on a journey self-discovery, but more importantly, self-development. My new mission in life is the EXPERIENCE that comes with it, good or bad or as I LOVE to put it, “Looking for Adventure and Finding Trouble.”
I refused to let myself stay put down by those negative events, life’s too short for that! They’re just challenges, life lessons and I’ve learnt quite a bit. I’ve become strong and self-centered, secure and the most important thing I’ve come to learn and believe is that everything we do is our own choice, everything is our fault. Our lives are OUR RESPONSIBILITY!

I’m strong now, I know who I am, or at the very least, where I’m going. It’s called direction! Everything positive that’s happened to me is because I’ve made the effort to go for it, I made action and steps towards something I want. And so, it’s not good enough to come back to London and blame everyone and everything for me feeling miserable. It’s impossible that there’s nothing decent out here, so I’ve got to find it! I’m a cause in the world now, not an effect.

And waking up late, home cooked food througout the day and living rent free is definitely a plus. More so when you’ve been homeless for a year.