Right, right. 7 hours until I get on a plane across the Atlantic Ocean to California. Despite not really having slept in the last 24 hours, I’m still wide awake. I think I’ll save my sleep for the painfully long plane journey.

The more I think about it, the more I realise how stupid this whole thing was, haha. I just booked a ticket there and sprung that shit on the three people I know in the middle of the most family oriented parts of the year. Expecting a nice family gathering, all together for the first time in a year, gathered around a table with festive spirits, good food, good company and what feels like a lifetime of stories to tell?

Well shut the fuck up, because here comes strange English boy, Kenny in your vicinity. The turkey better not be dry, or else I will WRECK your shit. What? There’s no turkey? CHICKEN? What the fuck, I hope you have a high pain threshold.

I always liked to describe myself as being “inquistive without being intrusive”. In one swift click of a mouse button, I just intruded on Christmas and New Years at the same time. I put it down to my habit of taking things too literally. I wish it was out of blissful and innocent ignorance, but no. I do it because I can.

“It was nice meeting you, you should come to California some time!”
“Okay. Done.”
“What?”
“Tickets are booked.”
“Huh? Wait, when did-”
“Christmas, bitch. Better have me some good presents, too.”

People need to stop being polite and start being more blunt. If not for their sake, then for the love of God, do it for mine. I can’t afford to keep making these impulsive and weird decisions, haha. I have little to no money, I have no idea what I’m going to do out there other than leech off 3 Asian girls I met a few months ago. I calculated that I’ve known them for about 6 nights; that’s like, 60 hours at most and two and a half days max. It’s either dedication, or stupidity. I’m leaning more towards stupidity. What was supposed to be a 7 day visit has been extended to 25 days. Ouch.

I expect to land soon in the United States and into a million awkward situations where my hosts struggle to find me something to do like a babysitter with a very attractive and intelligent kid who was just dropped on their doorstep at the most inconvenient of times. A better situation would be everyone pulling each other’s hair and fighting over my custody, but perhaps because of paranoia, I resemble unprotected sex more; at first it seemed like a good idea, but CONGRATULATIONS: YOU NOW HAVE AIDS.

We’ll see where this next mis-adventure takes me.