A lot of things are hard to find, I hear. Such as the lost city of Atlantis (emphasis on “lost”), diamonds, and Bigfoot. But do you know what’s even harder to find? A JOB. I mean, the only reason people look for Atlantis, diamonds and Bigfoot is because they gave up on finding a REAL job. I guess you’d have to be pretty desperate to look for Atlantis, considering it’s a “lost” city and all.

I never knew it would be this hard to get a job and not even a good one! I’ve had more rejections than all the Pop Idol contestants put together. Vodafone got back to me about a position though and to my surprise I passed the phone interview, so my friend and I went to check out the place where I would be working if I got the job, since it’s pretty far from home. I was OUTSTANDED- yes, that’s right; outstounded- when we got there.

Imagine a castle, subway and street having a threesome, and then 9 months later the street has a baby but it’s unsure whether the castle or subway is the father. The street is also unsure how any of that was at all possible.

You’d get this: Liverpool Street. It has everything in the world and then some. It’s got a tube station inside which is one of the busiest in the UK which is why it’s sometimes called Liverpool Street station. It’s got a McDonalds, Burger King, Sushi restaraunt nearby, some pubs, bars and loads of other shops including a stationary one; I can spend hours in a stationary shop looking at all the books I could buy and not write in as I’m lazy, and then walk out without buying a thing.

So it has all the stuff I like: junk food, sushi, easy transport, stationary. But the thing that impressed me the most is… the ROOF.

A fucking roof! How many ’streets’ in the world have a roof? I couldn’t get over it when I first saw it… what genius thought of that?! If there’s one thing that England needs, it’s a roof… over the entire country. It rains enough, so why not? Oh, and walls. The STREET has WALLS!
Even though it’s somewhere you really don’t want to be in the case of an earthquake, it looked like an awesome place to work. Excuse my over enthusiasm to this, but like I said; I only started getting out of my local area and exploring London lately so it’s like I just crawled out of a hole and saw the sun for the first time. Without going blind.

And outside the station is a little square surrounded by restaraunts, coffee shops and book stores with a miniature arena in the centre where the kids play hockey. I could just imagine myself sitting there with a book and cup of coffee and acting like I’m one of those characters in a sitcom who do stuff like sit down and drink coffee and have sex with super models.

Since I actually wanted the job after that, of course I knew I wasn’t going to get it. I have a habit of getting offered the jobs I don’t want (like ‘acid taster’) and never getting the ones I don’t.
Even though I passed the phone interview with them, they then wanted to do a ‘roleplay’ in which I had to sell a holiday to the interviewer. I watch too many late Friday night movies and thought “roleplay” had something to do with trying to turn a woman on. Needless to say, I failed- but I do think I turned her on a bit.

That didn’t really happen, but I wish it did; failing due to ignorance is better than failing when you really tried. So I didn’t get the job in the outstounding Liverpool Street, which means I’ll never get to live a sophisticated life of drinking coffee, reading books and eating sushi like my hero; Barney The Dinosaur.

Central London is awesome because it’s busy and cleaner than where I live. It’s not a bad place, but after coming from Central London and Liverpool Street it looks like someone dropped a nuke here.