Since we didn’t get very much exposure, it seems my theory that anyone involved or starring in an Indian film are all douchebags is correct. The fact my brother’s friends got too much screentime also proves this to be true. I would have thought that would include my brother, especially because it was his fault I didn’t get a good part… but it seems karma is on my side as he got even less time on camera than I did! Haha!

Vikesh and I had two chances to sneak our way into the film; one in the audience which looked extremely unlikely since there were so many people and we were on the side of the row of seats. The second was when we were on the theatre stage with a lot less people and some actual actors, but that also looked unlikely seeing as how the camera was at a dodgy angle.
And we were justified in thinking that…

See the far left with all the guys with white shirts? Well Vikesh and I were there too, but on the left end of the line… so we got cropped off, and even if we did manage to get in the shot there were some fake policemen in the way. I’ve always followed the rules and respected the law, but I think I’m going to start dealing drugs or robbing banks now. Those pigs stole our scene!
We were more likely to appear in the second picture on the far right, but once again they cut us out… the meat hating bastards. I can’t say they based it on appearences, because if you look closely at the second picture, the dead ‘man’ is actually a plastic dummy hanging from ropes. Also known as Indian Spiderman.

So did we get into the film? Surprisingly, we DID and it was in the scene we least likely expected to get any kind of result from!

Neel and I are doing our best statue impression, transfixed on the dancers who weren’t that great looking to be honest, but as I said before; they weren’t wearing many clothes. Vikesh is a bit less patient though, leaning in, talking to me and what looks like either touching my leg or penis. I don’t remember that, but then again I’m used to it happening and I don’t blame him if he did; I have that effect on people.
He says we tapping the blonde woman in front of us and seeing if we got caught… seems like we did, on CAMERA. And that’s like, the ultimate way of losing a game like that. I still think he was touching me up though.

So in the end we managed to get in a (crap) Indian movie and make our mark on Bollywood and get £50 each out of it. It was a pretty cool experience since I’m a Media student and I got to see how everything works. The staff were asking for a slap more than half of the time. But it attracts a lot of weird people, like the circus so it’s a kind of fun enviorment to be around.

Since Vikesh and I didn’t get to be in the scene on the stage, I cooked up a little Photoshop mock up. Of course, I stuck Vikesh’s head on the woman; seeing as how he doesn’t eat meat, he is one. It’s a good look for him, kind of like James Bond. Which says a lot about Indian women, because if you can compare them to Bond… well… nuff said.
But you cannot admit we look so much more sexy than the real thing. Oh well, their loss…

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